DEAR MEN*,
I see you. I get it, I understand. I so feel you. This past year has been hard for all of us, yet especially for you I believe, am I right? The guidelines and requirements for the pandemic have really taken you by surprise, still, even after their being in existence for almost a full year already. It can be so frustrating, confusing even, when you are expected to follow the same rules as others when these were things that you hadn’t ever needed to observe, follow, or even know about in the past. Surely, this isn’t serious? This wasn’t something you needed to be bothered with, right? Except, it seemed everyone did expect you to join them in following these guidelines and to tow the line, sometimes with actual markers, with all of this social distancing. What is all of this? You had found a bandana, you wear it around your neck when you go into stores and even put it up over your mouth if anyone looks at you. What more is needed from you, already? It is a tough pill to swallow, having to be considerate of other’s when you haven’t ever had to recognize boundaries and had always been able to lord over everyone else’s comfort zones, reactions, physical space and govern their emotions, even tone of voice when it bothered you. This is how the world has nurtured you, and therefore it is engrained and feels so natural to you. Heck, there was even a guy in the White House who appeared to give you even more onus over all of this, which made it okay, right? I mean, even when he said or did things that seemed a little off, his presence still meant nothing needed to change, didn’t it? And now, he isn’t there and people seemed to be relaxing these rules but some are even more adamant that they be followed. I know, it is hard, I really do understand that. But, it is okay, you are in luck, everyone else- literally everyone else: women, people of color, Native Americans, the physically & emotionally challenged, the entire conglomerate of the rainbow alphabet, your siblings, your children.- have a lifetime of experience and practice, so much so that it takes us years and years of therapy to cope with the possibility there can be any other way. Yet, the world has changed, there really isn’t any way to go back, rebuild, create anew sure, but no going back. And we are all here for you, will even discuss this, point in the direction of reading material from any number of fact sourced outlets that aren’t Twitter, Breitbart, Newsmax, or Fox News. Seriously, we are here for you, we don’t know any other way and we completely understand.
Here’s your first complimentary lesson: Keep the six feet of distance, it is a good polite distance and helps others feel safe, and for so many more reasons than Covid 19. And the six feet refers to a foot being twelve inches then multiplied by six, not just the length of your foot, think six long playing albums in a line, or if you are six feet tall than imagine lying down on the floor with your head at the person’s feet in front of you and look down to your feet and that is where you should be standing on the other side of where your feet end. You can give more space, no one would mind about that either. Also, lots of places still have markers on the floor, yes, those colorful strips of tape mark off the safe distance. If anyone asks in a measured, level even toned voice for you to please keep six feet from them, simply adjust your position and honor the request, especially if you look down and you are more then four feet off the mark in the wrong direction. There is no need to bark that you are six feet away, when clearly you aren’t. If this person then still calmly asks, or simply notes, that you aren’t on or near the mark, there is also no need to yell at them to “Relax!” Further, it is okay, you can handle this, we’ve had to put up with you for an eternity after all, spare the clerk your buddy buddy chatter about how ridiculous that person was. 1. The person is still able to hear you. 2. The clerk is not your buddy, doesn’t ever want to be your buddy, wishes you would stop leaning over the counter and under the plexiglass without any sort of mask near your mouth or nose. 3. The clerk makes barely minimum wage and has been on the front lines probably their whole life, and then moreso through retail and now simply going to work threatens their life. 4. The person whom you previously found unnecessary may be worried about some sort of retaliation attack in the parking lot from you or one of your actual buddies, so take your time and always maintain six feet of distance.
SINCERELY, SM
Post Script for Asterisk *men=anyone who isn’t a feminist and anyone regardless of gender identity who follow, are stuck in the belief of, or parent by way of the patriarchal paradigm.
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